Keep a Man..Or Do You Really Want To?

Oh the joys of falling in love, finding the right one, your soul mate; the one who understands you, who adores you, who meets your every need.  Is that even possible?  Although 48 and single, I do know what it takes to keep a man.  The question is have I ever really wanted to?

There are so many 'types' of men out there.  When you think you've seen them all...wait, the next one will surprise you even more.  And the funny thing is, you say with each relationship you learn what you don't want...but then lo and behold you learn again and again.  So does this learning curve ever flatten?

Here is a 'general' list of the extreme types I have heard of or run into.  Deciding whether or not you really want to is totally up to you.  If your guy is not listed then maybe you really want to?


The CheappppppppppppSkate
This one is a keeper!  NOT! He pays for his half if he absolutely has to. He insists on separate bills.  He shouts out how equal woman and men are only when it comes to heavy lifting the bill!  His idea of a birthday gift is 8 red roses purchased at the grocery store.  Valentine's day is a special occasion as long as he doesn't have to pay for dinner.  Sure he will go away on a trip with you as long as you can use your points to pay for it and I mean all your points.  If he orders a bottle of wine, then by G-d you better drink the whole bottle! Don't get me wrong ladies, he HAS THE MONEY!  He just doesn't want to spend it on anyone else but himself EVER! He orders at the Starbucks counter, but runs to the washroom when it is time to pay.  He will take you shopping, but walk out the door when you get to the cash. Keep walking baby!

The Pathlogical Liar

Oh my THE PATHOLOFICAL LIAR.  EWWWWWWWWWWWW DOUBLE EWWWWW TRIPLE EWWWWWWWWWWW! You gotta watch out for this one.  This one will actually jade you for the first time in your life.  Stop second guessing yourself.  We are not crazy,  When we know there is something wrong then there is something wrong. It don't matter how many signs G-d sends down from the heavens up above, for some reason we chose to ignore them.  It doesn't matter how strong and right in your face these signs are, we chose to ignore them. If you gut says it ain't so, then ladies it ain't so! Stop ignoring. The sooner you let go of this crazy, the sooner you can move on.  What you need to know is that once a pathological liar, always a pathological liar.  The prognosis is next to none. 

This man might really love you.  The problem is he doesn't love himself. And because he doesn't love himself, he has to tell the tale to upsell his image of the great guy, of the upstanding guy, of the guy who never did anything to tarnish his reputation.  NEVER EVER! And when you catch him in a lie, he will surely tell you he has never done this before.  He lied because he loves you and doesn't want to lose you.  And you believe him, after all he loves you right?  Then comes the next lie and the next lie and the next lie.......and these are not just little white lies, they are stories, tall tales; things that never really happened.  And why tell these tales?  Because they somehow make him better in his own eyes.....better socially, better person, better friend...just better better better.  But ladies, this is the worst of the worst. 

The Needy Guy
This is the guy who sticks to you like glue; who bbms you and text messages you and calls you frantically when he cannot get a hold of you exactly when he wants to.  He watches you with puppy eyes as you apply your makeup in total awe of your transformation from simple to magnificence. You have to actually say to him "Uh can I pee in private!" He behaves much like a two year old infant who demands your total attention always and I mean ALWAYS! He takes a hissy fit when your attention is diverted elsewhere.  Elsewhere can mean a friend in need, shopping, a mani/pedi or G-d forbid a night out with the girls.  Oh my gosh, if you mention a vacation without him consider your relationship in deep jeopardy!

Even though his neediness is most probably intolerable.  He does have some good points. He must right?  Some redeeming qualities drew you to him in the first place. His only flaw is that he suffocates you so much that you want to run as fast and as far away as you can........OR DO YOU? OR DON'T YOU? OR DO YOU?

The 'Playa'

"Baby I love you, I need you, you are so beautiful" as he hands you a dozen roses after being away on a trip.  Ladies this is a bad sign!  Men who double up the romantic usually are 'payin'' for their playin'. Why do men play? They love the chase, they love the attention and they need to feel wanted by every woman. But sometimes they may run into a woman that they just don't want to let go.  This doesn't mean they still don't have the need to feel wanted by every other woman.  This has nothing to do with you, so don't take it personally.  The fact is a playa is a playa is a playa.  The need to feel wanted by every woman on the planet overpowers the need to be loved by the one and only. Once the challenge is no longer a challenge and this man has successfully won the heart of the woman, it is time to move on.  In my opinion move on!

The Independent
 Oh yes the Independent man.  The one who 'needs his space' 5 days a week.  He calls, texts, bbms......and then a big fat zero zero zero.  Notta, nichts, nuttin'.  Ladies, this man is just not that into you. Face it, get it, reality check it!  When a man is crazy about a woman, let me tell you no amount of independence running through his veins will stop him from being with you.

The above list only touches on some of the characters you may run into. By no means is it complete. Maybe I will write a part 2.  The point I am trying to make is that at the end of the day no one man is perfect.  You have to decide what your 'deal breaker' is.  But when doing so proceed with believing in your intuition, in your sixth sense.  All I'm sayin' is take the blinders off.